Dilbert's Day At The Office
by FutureShock
Summary: It's just another one of those days at the office for Dilbert.


I have a surprise for you guys... a new fanfiction! It's going to be short, but i just wanted to wet your apetite(since the next chapter of gohan and the mane 6 won't be out for a bit). This one will be about another day in the life of Dilbert. If you haven't read the comics or seen the show you should check it out. The show is on netfilx and it is very funny, the plots, humor and characters shall make you laugh out loud :)! I also just felt like writing a Dilbert fanfic, so sit down in your cubicle and waste some time at the office... enjoy!

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Chapter One: Re-marketing

It was a nice day in... town(i have no idea where Dilbert is set to be in), the sun was out and it was warm. Too bad some people were stuck at work and couldn't enjoy it... and this is where we meet our protagonist. Inside a large office building dwells a company(Path-e-Tech management i believe), it's full of engineers, managers, marketing guys and an evil cat who is the director of human resources(i know it's a very crazy place, but it does sound like a good place to work). It is 10:30 AM and a meeting is taking place inside a conference room.

"Now then i'm sure you are all aware of our situation?" The guy in charge of this company(at least i think he is in charge) is a heavy set guy on the smaller side. He wears a blue suit with a black tie and has very pointy hair(black)... although the top of his head is bald. They call him the pointy haired boss.

"What situation?" A female employee asked. She had brown hair in the shape of a triangle, and a pink suit on. her name was Alice.

"Haven't you read the papers?" The boss asked.

"Have you?" Alice asked in return.

"We could talk all day about who reads what... or we could talk about the fate of this company!" The boss shouted as he slammed his fist on the desk.

"Excuse me, but what exactly are we doing here?" Dilbert asked. He was a tall man with pale skin, he wore a white shirt, black pants and shoes, glasses and a red and black stripped tie(which defied gravity and bent upwards). His hair was standing up straight and the same color as his skin, it didn't seem like he had hair at all. Feel free to look up a picture if you have confusion.

"We are here because sales of our latest product are very..." the boss looked down at his mini calender(which had words with definitions on it). "bad." He said while flipping through the calender.

The other people in the room where a bald man with thick glasses, he also wore a white shirt with black pants and shoes. He also had a green tie, his name was Wally... he was very lazy. Loud Howard had spiky light brown hair, a yellow shirt with a blue tie, brown pants and black shoes... he was very loud. Finally there was an Indian man with short black hair, he had a blue shirt on with an orange tie on, he wore black pants and shoes. His name was Asok and he was the intern.

"SO WHAT DO WE DO?!" Loud Howard asked while shouting.

"Why don't we try re-marketing the product?" Asok asked... in case you were wondering the product was a toaster that also doubled as a helmet. It was basically a toaster with a strap on the bottom that could fit around a persons head... it had a visor attached in the front to make it look more like a helmet.

"The directions clearly stated 'do not use as helmet and toaster at the same time'!" Dilbert added.

"I don't see how we can re-market the toaster helmet... it seems like a lot of work." Wally stated while taking a sip from his coffee cup.

"You just don't want to have to do any work do you?" Alice asked while giving him a glare.

"You know me so well." Wally said... from how the way he said it, he sounded proud of his laziness.

"Come on people, we need to do something with this thing!" The boss exclaimed while putting the invention on the table.

"How about we re-sell it as a doorstop?" Asok suggested... he got blank stares from everybody... except the boss.

"Why wouldn't they just buy a regular doorstop?" Dilbert asked.

"Wait... i think Asok may have something." The boss stated while putting his hand on his chin(meaning he was thinking of an idea). "I got it, it's a doorstop that can also be used as a toaster!" The reactions he got were not what he was expecting.

"Couldn't people just use the toaster they already have?" Alice asked, that was a good point.

"Alice you're not thinking outside the box?" Their boss wasn't the smartest person around.

"What box? I'm pretty sure a person who already owns a toaster would just buy a regular doorstop." Dilbert also made a good point.

"What if someone is moving into a new house and doesn't have a toaster or a doorstop?" Wally suggested... man they just keep going back and forth. I guess you can see why i like the show.

"You see Wally understands what i'm going for." The boss started clapping as he said that, i guess it was a good idea... if you were lazy.

"I hardly think anyone will think this is a good idea!" Dilbert protested.

"I THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA!" Loud Howard exclaimed.

"I'm going to send this to the guys in marketing, Meeting dismissed!" Everyone left the room as the boss made a phone call to the guys in marketing. Meanwhile Dilbert, Wally and Alice were standing near the coffee maker.

"Do you really think this will jump-start the ToasterHelmet?" Dilbert asked while making a new cup of coffee.

"I guess it's in the consumers hands now." Alice stated.

"I'm just glad we didn't have to come up with a new product!" Wally was displaying his lazyness once again. A few minutes later the boss came by and told them the news.

"I just got off the phone with the guys in marketing and they love the idea!" I guess this could work... i mean what could go wrong. The boss then went back to his office to 'meditate'(by which i mean sleep).

"I wonder how hard it was to convince them it was a good idea?" Dilbert asked sarcastically.

"Maybe the new product will be a success?" Wally suggested. The work day was over and the employees headed home. Dilbert came home to a talking dog(who also wore glasses) and a talking rat.

"So how was your day?" Dogbert asked(yes his name is dogbert).

"I didn't think you cared?" Dilbert asked in return.

"I don't but if you tell me now i won't have to listen later." Dogbert said, he's a very smart and manipulative dog.

"Well... we re-marketed the ToasterHelmet as a doorstop, which is a very idiotic idea." Dilbert was very annoyed by the work day. He turned on the TV and switched over to the news.

"Our top story tonight, a new product that is sweeping the nation. It's a doorstop that also works as a toaster! Many people have said it is one of the greatest inventions of all time, because they can know "Toast things and keep my door open at the same time". There is no telling how much money will be made but we speculate somewhere in the millions." Dilbert put his head in his hands and sighed. I guess it was more popular than he thought.

"I guess some people know exactly what they want." Dogbert said while patting Dilbert on the back. "Well at least your company won't go bankrupt."

"But at what cost... i mean do we just keep making lousy products and expect the public to buy them?" Dilbert asked.

"And in other news the new product 'SunglassTV' has reached an all time high in sales." The news reporter said causing Dilbert to once again put his head in his hands.

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Well there you have it, a short fanfic to tide you over. I hope you enjoyed it and i hope you check out dilbert if you haven't already. I also would like to thank all of you who read/review my fanfics, it means a lot to me that people like my shit(or read it and spare my feelings). It helps me write more stories. Thats all for now so go read my other fanfics and stay tuned for more wackyness.

FutureShock


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